Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 275
Weight today: 274 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 1 lb
Weight Lost to Date: 50.5 lbs (56.5 before the gain back)
Weeks Completed: 29
Weeks to go: 23

The re-losing continues. I only dropped a pound this week but considering I had bronchitis, I'll take it. Seriously, who gets bronchitis in July?

This weekend my city boy self will attempt some camping with some buddies. Looking forward to it. I'll let you know how it goes.

I can't wax poetic on one pound of re-loss so I'll cut it short.

Peace and love.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Let the Re-Losing Begin

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 277
Weight today: 275 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2
Weight Lost to Date: 49.5 lbs (56.5 before the gain back)
Weeks Completed: 28
Weeks to go: 24

OK...so the weight is coming back off. Man I hate having to re-lose weight. I've wasted a lot of time. That said, I'm heading back down again which is cool. I went to the county 4-H fair yesterday. If I live to be 200 I will never enjoy walking thru barns of stinky animals. The fact that the food tents were right next to the barns seemed like an odd choice. I wonder how the hogs felt knowing their cousins were being sold on buns right next door.

My wife starts back to work tomorrow. For those just tuning in, she will be a part time secretary at Forest Hill Elementary (where our two older children are in school). This is happening a few years earlier than we had planned since Laina is still in preschool. The fact is, these jobs don't come up very often so Amy went for it. She really had no desire to go back to work in corporate America...especially Sallie Mae (from whence she came).

Last night my middle child (Erin) said as we were coming home from Walmart "We are on our way home from Idiotville." to which my son replied, "If that was true, we wouldn't have been able to take you home because you would have become their mayor." It's these heartfelt exchanges between my kids that warm me inside. My youngest was mucho grouchy yesterday. She slept 12 hours and is a new person. I, on the other hand, have a cold. How one gets a cold in July is beyond me. Perhaps it's going from 90 degrees to 70 degrees in one day. Perhaps it's the filthy animal barns at White Trash Expo (a.k.a. the Hamilton County 4-H Fair). Who knows.

Anywho, I'm back to my losing ways and hope to continue next week.

Peace and love to all.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Weight Loss Do-Over

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: N/A
Weight today: 277 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: N/A...gained 9 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 47.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 27
Weeks to go: 25

OK...I'm starting again for real. Somehow (like I don't know how) my hovering within a few pounds of 268 has ballooned into a 9 pound gain. I also chewed up 8 weeks doing nothing...except heading in the other direction. So I now need to re-lose 9 lbs before I can even get started again. Nice job Len. One thing I have learned is that I still don't know how to maintain. When I tell myself I am off the diet (on a break) whatever, I go back to gorging on anything I feel like I've missed. Since I promised myself I would loose 100 lbs by 1/14/2010 and also promised myself I would keep it off, I need to work on this. Losing weight is doable, keeping it off is where I need help.

I think it is sad that over 19 weeks of eating right, exercising, and witnessing first hand the benefits of losing weight, that I would ever consider messing with the formula. This is what has happened to me dozens of times in my life: lose it, gain it, lose it, gain it. This time will be different. I caught it quickly and I'll bet this 9 lbs will be gone in a few weeks.

I'm starting right now!!

Peace and love.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Fat Man on Hiatus

OK...so it's been two weeks since I blogged! It's been 7 weeks since I lost a pound. I'm not going to lie and say I've been trying really hard. What I have been doing is enjoying myself and maintaining my weight. I'll gain a few pounds, then lose it, and so on. Part of my problem has been summer festivities. It seems like there is a cookout or a night out after work lurking around every corner. The thing is, I'm not ready to just maintain. I have 44 more lbs to lose. That said, I can't really guarantee when this hiatus will end. I keep thinking it will end each week and then...something fun comes up. I'm going to lose the rest of this weight by Jan 14, 2010. I've been keeping active. I got my bike fixed and have ridden it a few times. Add to that to some walking, cutting my grass, and the occasional all day trek around an amusement park and I'm keeping in motion.

Things have been going well in my world. My company won a large government contract which means I should have a job for at least the next year or two. My wife just got a job at our kids' elementary school as a secretary. This was the kind of gig she was looking for. It's part-time, she gets the same days off as our kids do, and she'll be at the school with our kids. This is happening about two years sooner than we planned but these type of jobs don't come up often so she pounced.

On a weight-related note, I took my blood pressure at CVS and it was as low as it's been in 10 years (126/71). That is with medication; however, before I shed 56 pounds the lowest I could get it was 140/89. That is encouraging. Maybe in another 44 lbs I can get off this med all together.

So I'm not sure what my chances are of jump starting this thing this week. I have a golf outing this Friday where the food and beer will be free. We'll see. In the end, as long as I can stay around 268-270, I'll be in position to kick this thing off again. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my summer.

Peace and love.

Len

Fat Man: Beginnings

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 268
Weight Today: 268 lbs
Weight Lost this week: 0 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 56.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 23
Weeks to go: 29

OK, another week stuck in the middle. I know the culprit and I'm going to come clean. For the past few weeks my night eating has returned. Peanut butter is the culprit. HOW!? I've never eaten spoonfuls of peanut butter from the jar. Maybe my body needs protein? Maybe I'm just a food-aholic that jumps from one type of extreme binge to another?

The good news is, I haven't gained any weight. The bad news, this is three weeks with no loss.

I am recommitting today!!!!!!

The exercise still goes well and the during the day eating is fine. To help with the motivation, I am going to remind myself of where I was and what I have gained (in my loss).

• When I was at 324 lbs, I would sit in my office, having to use the restroom but dreading the 50 foot walk to the men's room. I would sit there hour on end thinking, "What about my trash can? Man I wish these windows opened. Maybe I could get one of those astronaut diapers like that crazy b--- in Florida." SAD. Now I walk 3 miles a day.
• When I was 324 lbs, I couldn't cut my grass without a couple of breaks and without feeling like I was going to die for the rest of the day. Now I cut it without breaks, coach two soccer games, put down fertilizer, and have energy to play with my kids.
• When I was 324 lbs, I used to sweat while I was eating. Now....well I'm still a sweaty bastard...but only when I exercise.
• Having lost 56 lbs, I dropped two waist sizes (46 to 42) and 42s are getting loose! I have a whole group of new (old) shirts I can wear now!
• My jawline has reappeared.
• My blood pressure has dropped 25 points on top and 15 points on the bottom
• I no longer snore (much).

These are just a few of the things that have changed my life after losing 56 lbs. I still need to lose 44 more to make my goal and I have 29 weeks to go! I'm going to do this!

There will be progress next week.

Peace and love.

Len

http://trappedinafatman@blogsopt .com

Stuck in the mud

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 268
Weight Today: 268 lbs
Weight Lost this week: 0 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 56.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 22
Weeks to go: 30

Sorry for not blogging on Sunday. My son and I hit the Indianapolis Air Show and I forgot.

After a week of eating pretty well and exercising, I lost exactly 0 lbs. This means my total May loss is 5 lbs...by far the weakest showing since I started in Jan. I'm going to keep pushing on. I have 43.5 lbs to loose and 6.5 months to do it in. I'm trying to push myself with more exercise to kick start some losing.

I have cut out chips. I was eating Baked Lay's and pretzels. While low in fat, they are high in sodium and, I think, were monkeying with my blood sugar. For the first time ever I didn't eat a donut on National Donut Day. What a waste. Come to think of it, I haven't had a donut in about 6 months. I drove by Hot Box Pizza yesterday and ordered no breadsticks! That's got to count for something!

What's a fattie to do?

Anyway, I'm going to knuckle down this week and see if something good happens.

Stay tuned...

Len

My Weight Loss Wagon Had A Flat Tire

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 274.5
Weight today: 268 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 56.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 21
Weeks to go: 31

OK...so I totally chickened out and didn't blog last week. It's been a weird two weeks. I did fairly well the week leading up to race weekend. I then slid off the wagon for about three days. As a result, last Sunday morning I woke up 6.5 lbs heavier!! I spent the last week removing the aforementioned weight. I also learned two important lessons.

1. I am still a foodaholic. Without diligence, I could very easily slip back into my old habits. I forgot my own advice about planning to go off the wagon rather than binging. I am going to have to work on that because some day this project will be over and I'll have to work as hard (or harder) to keep this weight off.

2. I had been cheating a bit the four weeks leading up to Memorial Day weekend. I would come off the wagon a few times during the week and then compensate by not drinking much water after I walked. That was an especially key trick on Sunday mornings where I would weigh in after I walked but before I had any water. I have seen 1.5-2 lbs of water come off during a walk. The following day, I'd jump back up a few lbs and then spend the next week actually losing the weight I had reported lost (through dehydration) the week before. It was a weight loss Ponzi scheme.

SO...I'm back down to 268 lbs and ready to get on with this project the right way.

This week I began mixing in some jogging with my walking. I was able to get my three mile walk down to 15 minute miles. For me, that's fast. There are some hills in my neighborhood so it's not all flat. I bought a good pair of shoes from a running store that video tapes your feet while you walk to see what type of shoes you need. These shoes feel great! Still, I have a little pain in my shins now since I started jogging. I think I am still too heavy to jog much. I had a friend invite me to walk/jog the mini with her and another friend next year. Shelly, if you are reading, that sounds cool. I have a lot of training to do before then. I think (hope) another 20-30 lbs will do the trick on the shin splints. In the meantime, I will just try to walk as fast as I can.

Well, it feels good to come clean and be back on track. Some good lessons were learned.

See you all next week.

Pace and love (belated race pun),

Len

http://trappedninafatman.blogspot.com/

I Have Broken into the 260's

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 270.5 lbs
Weight today: 268 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 56.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 19
Weeks to go: 33

OK...the ship has been righted this week. This is a milestone for me as I am the lightest I've been in three years. So after a few weeks of coasting, I'm going to start hitting it hard again. I need to get below 250 so I can squeeze onto a roller coaster at King's Island later this summer. I honestly never thought I could get excited about weighing 268 lbs. There are linemen for the Colts who are 6'6" and weigh 268 lbs.

Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect: Sore Feet
When you start to exceed the manufacturer's suggest limit for fattiness, one of the first things that starts to ache is your feet. So I have these aching feet from time to time. One sure way to get relief is to have my wife rub my hoofs. Unfortunately, God blessed me with a wife who is majorly grossed out by feet. 5 seconds of rubbing per foot is about as much as I can usually beg out of her. To remedy this aversion she has, I decided to rock out the pedicure. I figured if I dressed up the offending peds, mayhaps she would execute some prolonged rubbing.

Side note: My wife is good at rubbing feet. She's got her "technique down and everything. She don't be ticklin' or nothin'." It's a cruel irony that she chooses to squander her rub-skills.

Anyway, back to the pedicure. I found a salon and walked up to the door. It turns out the salon is closing but would be happy to help me out. As I sit in the chair with the whole staff staring at me, this lovely Vietnamese chick begins to bust out some heavenly foot attention. She's rubbing and scraping, and trimming, and buffing. It was...cool. Then, towards the end of the session, she asked me a question. Her English being much less developed than her pedicure skills, I had no idea what she was saying. After about four attempts to clarify, I just said "Yes.". Next thing you know, out pops the cotton spacers and on goes the clear coat to my toenails. When she was done, she escorted me over to the toe dryer where I sat there, totally wondering what was going on. The staff all leaned against the opposite wall as I sat there trying to feign normalcy. When I was done, I shod up and hit the road. My well-groomed feet were loving life. I got home, whipped off my shoes, and said" Honey, rub these!". Thinking she would melt at the sight of my metro pods, I was ready for some serious foot action. Unfortunately, even clean, trimmed feet are still feet. These days, I can usually get about 25 seconds per foot out of my wife. I am also addicted to pedicures, though I pass on the nail polish.

Thanks to all of you for tuning in. See you next week.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 271 lbs
Weight today: 270.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: .5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 54 lbs
Weeks Completed: 18
Weeks to go: 34

OK...for anyone who was around me this week, the fact that I didn't gain 5 lbs is a mother's day miracle. I did the movie thing, hit a bar with some co-workers, and then spent a day in a suite at the track where the beer, fried foods, and brownies were f-r-e-e. On top of that, I missed three days walking. I'm back in the swing of things though with 3.5 and 3 miles walked in the last two days.

Bottom line: I had a lot of fun this week and still didn't gain weight. This gives me hope for life after this project. It seems you can have fun AND maintain your weight.

So I saw the the new Star Trek at a sneak preview. Thanks to Mike T who always comes through with the hook up. It was a stellar flick...even if Nelson almost made us sit in the front row. The evening at RAM was cool. Kölsch is a tasty beer and light enough that I didn't feel like I was packing on the weight. It was tough resisting those delicious appetizers...but I did. The track was cool and the gang. That is the only way I will ever see a race at that track again (after 20 years in the "cheap" seats); however, no one is knocking my door down to hook me up for a suite on race day so I guess I'll settle for watching the replay on TV.

To all of you mothers, I say "Thanks for contributing to global overpopulation!" To all of you fathers, I say "Did you get a DNA test? That kid looks a lot like your neighbor."

I'm hoping for some 260's action next week. Wish me luck!

Peace and love.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Yo fat there's a lot of rumors goin' around...

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 273.5 lbs
Weight today: 271 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 53.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 17
Weeks to go: 35

Yo fat there's a lot of rumors goin' around
It's so bad baby you might have to skip town.

O.K. nothing like busting out an LL Cool J lyric to kick off a blog. I lost 2.5 more lbs this week. I am very happy because I went to eat at Cancun yesterday. It was the first time I've had Mexican food in four months. Mmmm...Mexican. I also walked 3 miles this morning on a new route around my neighborhood. There are still parts of this hood through which I have not walked. Sad. You have to watch out in Noblesville. If you make a wrong turn, you could wind up getting jacked by some rich 10 year-olds in a custom golf cart. Worse, you might even find yourself face to face with a soccer mom 10 minutes late to her kids' games. Then it's 1-8-7 on a crazy soccer mom.

Seriously, there's not much to tell. Spring is here and I am kicking up the activity levels even higher. Man, this exercise thing is the bomb (keeping with the wanna be gangster theme in this week's blog). I wish someone would write a newspaper article or host a news special about exercise. Everybody's always like, "starvation and dangerous diet pills, that's the only true way to lose weight." Haters.

Well, I've got the rest of this Sunday to kick it with the fam and get outside. Thanks to all of you who cheer me on weekly. It means a lot.

Peace and Love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

50 lbs lost and counting...

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 275.5 lbs
Weight today: 273.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.0 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 51 lbs
Weeks Completed: 16 Weeks to go: 36

Well, I'm half way there. My goal was to lose 100 lbs in a year. This is also approaching the most weight I have ever lost. My personal record is 60 lbs when I tried Optifast about ten years ago. Optifast was cool. I drank nothing but nasty chocolate drinks every day for four months. In the end, I gained it all back PLUS 40 lbs. I know it's not Optifast's fault but it all seems sort of silly in retrospect. I truly believe that in most cases, extreme weight loss techniques are all short term-even gastric bypass. I've known three people who gained their weight back after having their stomachs stapled. It took them many years, but they still gained the weight back. Anything that does not require you to be disciplined won't last forever.

Time for another episode of Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect. Our topic for today is stretch marks. Most women who have been pregnant could probably describe stretch marks better than me. The difference is that once a woman gives birth, she can forget about her stretch marks, hoist her newborn to the air and scream, "I have created life!". The best a fat man can do is, take stock of his stretch marks, put down his bacon sandwich, and scream, "I have a map of the London Underground naturally stenciled in purple across my abdomen.

Stretch marks are strange and cruel. Even when you lose weight, they don't go away. They may stop being purple, but they mostly don't go away...they turn a nice shade of white. It's kind of like guidelines in a coloring book. I sleep without a shirt on (go ahead, visualize that). I'm afraid one of these days I'll wake up and my four year-old will have colored in my stretch marks. I can only imagine it will look like some unholy tie dye.

One friend of mine told me that when she was pregnant, her doctor told her to rub lotion on her skin twice a day to increase elasticity and avoid stretch marks. I could have lived in a vat of lotion and that wouldn't have saved me. I hope that as a lose weight, I don't end up with extra skin like that chick (er Kate) on John and Kate Plus 8. If so, I'll end up having to have that stuff hacked off and will have fodder for another Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect".

I look at it this way, I can use these stretch marks as a badge of courage. They can be a constant reminder of what 12 years of wanton gluttony can do for a guy, a daily warning that all pizza and no walking make Len a fat boy, a beacon of fat things to come!

It's all good. I'm fitting into older clothes and feeling better. I might even break out some paisley before it's all over.

Thanks for tuning in this week. It's been cool. See you in the 260s.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

I just missed the mark this week!!

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 278 lbs
Weight today: 275.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 49 lbs
Weeks Completed: 15
Weeks to go: 37

One more pound and it would have been 50! As it is, I've lost one pound for each state in the union. That union would be the union before August 21, 1959 when there were only 49 states (sorry Hawaii).

I would like to say that there was an initial accounting error last week. I originally reported the total weight lost so far (last Sunday) as 47.5 lbs. That has since been corrected to 46.5 lbs. It seems we used the United States General Accounting Office to audit our math last week. We won't be doing that again.

I would also like to say that at my mom's 65th birthday party last night, I did not eat any of my wife's home made lasagna, none of that tasty salad with that one honey mustard dressing I like, none of that wonderful Italian bread that's crunchy on the outside but light and fluffy on the inside, and none of that kickin' birthday cake with all that butter cream icing deliciousness!!!!!!!!!!! I suppressed my inner gourmand so that I would end the week on a high note. I did it for you, my loyal following. I did it so you all could say, "Cool...he's still going in the right direction." Seriously, I abstained from the chow fest because I have given myself a lot of days off over the last two weeks. If I was smart, I wouldn't do that on a Tuesday work night and, instead, save up for a Saturday birthday party. No one ever accused me of being smart. Smart-a--ed maybe...

This was a really crazy week. Work was insane...for all the wrong reasons. There was a "Days of Our Lives" factor of about 10.5. It felt so school-like that I half expected a Judy Blume book to come flying out of some one's mouth. Typical Len would have tied on the feed bag. While I did eat a little more some days, my worst day wasn't as bad as I normally ate before this project.

I finished the week (er started the week?) this morning with a walk. The musical choice was Digital Underground from 1989. It was tres fun and extremely old school. That was back when rap was about drugs and sex and king-sized egos. Not like today where rap is about...wait...drugs and sex and king-sized egos. I guess it hasn't changed that much. As my friend reminded me, Digital Underground did create the nonsense word Looptid. Top that Kanye West!

I know several of my friends have kicked off weight loss efforts over the last few weeks. I just want to say hang in there and stay strong. Also, be accountable to someone (or some people). It really helps!

Until next week, when that barrier known as 50 lbs lost goes down, I wish you all peace and humptiness forever.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Welcome to the 270s Mr. Smith...it's been awhile.

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 281 lbs
Weight today: 278 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 46.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 14
Weeks to go: 38


It's an Easter miracle! After phoning in last week's performance, I made some progress this week. Considering I was off most of the week, that was no small feat. I said goodbye to the 280s (hopefully forever). Ah 280s, we barely knew ye!


I haven't been able to walk this week. Let me elaborate. I'm not paralyzed, I just didn't have time to walk the usual 2.5 miles per day that I normally do. I cut the grass once, but other than that it's been paint, paint, paint. We repainted our kitchen and painted all of our ugly oak cabinets, chair rails, and floor trim white. That kicked my butt. Sorry if you or someone you know is a fan of/made out of oak.


It's been a cool Easter morning. My son looked at his basket full of candy and new soccer ball and said, "I was kind of hoping for some slime." Evidently, slime is something you can buy in a can. We will be performing an exorcism on my little heathen son later.


I usually spend the end of my blog poking good natured fun at the pitfalls of being heavy. I'm finding less and less that I can write about that's not of a personal nature. Maybe I'll create a sister blog to this one called Diary of A Mad Fat Man - Adult Swim. That one could contain material of a more blue nature. Let's just say being really overweight is a self-induced handicap. The more weight I lose, the more I realize just how much mobility I had lost. Getting up off the floor, getting out of a chair, walking up to a buffet...all were major tasks.

Well, I have two more milestones approaching. 274.5 will be the 50 lbs mark and 266 is the lightest I've been in the last five years. Both will be good to hit.

Thanks to all of you who tune in week after week. I really believe this blog has made the difference for me in this diet. I love hearing from you all.

May the sweet winds of spring not blow too much of that fresh mulch smell upon you!

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Well dude, what did you expect?!

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 281.5 lbs
Weight today: 281 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: .5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 43.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 13
Weeks to go: 39

OK so on Thursday of this week I was down to 279.5. A pretty cool milestone. Then I decided to have a little Fun friday night. That fun resulted in three slices of pizza and a little too much Grey Goose. So instead of reporting 2-3 lbs lost this week, I get to say "hooray for .5 lbs".

My wife summed it up nicely this morning. She reminded me that when I choose to jump off the wagon a bit I can't then turn around and beat myself up about it. I'm really not that broken up, I'm sure this week will be good.

I'm not going to joke about fatness and side effects this week. That's easy to do when I've lost a respectable amount of weight. Instead, I'll regroup and hit it harder this week.

Sorry for the lameness of the post.

Peace and love to all.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Another Day on the Virtual Fat Farm

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 284.5 lbs
Weight today: 281.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 43 lbs
Weeks Completed: 12
Weeks to go: 40

OK...another week of trying to undo ten years of unbridled gorging. I'm back on the program this week folks. 3 lbs of McDonald's/Taco Bell/sampler appetizers from RAM have been exorcised from "the temple". How is that for a fat-laden anecdote wrapped in a religious reference? Mea culpa. OK, I'll stop.

I would be lying if I said it was still really easy to keep doing this. Don't get me wrong, eating right and exercising is still pretty easy. What is tough is imbibing (or the lack thereof). Since spring is in the air there are all sorts of things happening. Trees are blooming, grass is getting green, birds are singing, and Len is getting almost nightly invites to:

Go to [insert bar] and sit outside and drink [insert drink of choice].

I really enjoy getting together with friends over a pint or six. The problem is drinking beer only helps you loose weight if you don't eat. In that instance cirrhosis is is good for weight loss but really bad for liver health and um living. The week of St. Patrick's day I was able to enjoy some nights out but it cut into my weight loss. Now that I think about it, I'm sounding an awful lot like an alcoholic. Stay tuned for my newest blogging endeavor called "Diary of Angry Lush".

The irritating yet quasi cool thing going on now is that I am in a transition weight. This means my clothes don't really fit but I'm not ready to drop a size in my clothes yet. Maybe I could just buy a Snuggie and wear it around for the next nine months. I could tell everyone it's a Tibetan monk thing. I could also easily reach for the remote while comfortably relaxing on the sofa (don't believe me...watch the infomercial).

I'm going to forgo the "Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". I wish I could say the pain of self-deprecating humor has wounded me too deeply. The reality is that I haven't a thing humorous to report. Sufficed to say, being a disgusting fat body is a nasty fat side effect of being fat. 'Nuff said.

Until next week, peace and weightlessness...er weight loss...to all.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

I've Lost the Equivalent of a Bag of Rock Salt

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Saturday: 286 lbs
Weight today: 284.4 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 1.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 40 lbs
Weeks Completed: 11
Weeks to go: 41

It's not a terribly impressive report today but it is a significant milestone. Though I only lost a pound and a half, I have finally hit the 40 pound mark. To put that in perspective, a bag of Morton's rock salt weights 40 lbs as does a bag of top soil, Keira Knightley, and eight 5lb bags of flour.

My moderate loss this week can be attributed to one word: drinking. I had a few beers on St. Patrick's day, and went out Saturday night (a.k.a. last night). If you remember, I also started the week off 5.5 lbs bloated from a drink fest a week ago last Saturday. I did have fun this week and while I know that I have to cut the drinking back if I want to progress, I think it was a good time in the diet to cut lose. Now I want to push on to getting the rest of this weight off. According to my project goals, I have 60 lbs to go by Jan 14, 2010. In total, I have about 85 lbs more to lose.

Time for another edition of Today's Nasty Fat Side-Effect. This one may be a little more of the PG-13 rated variety but it's certainly relevant. Today we are going to talk about man breasts. These unfortunate visitors happen when men get heavy. You don't have to be a manatee-looking slob to have man boobies. Moderately overweight men can get them too. Regardless of your girth, they are embarrassing. There's nothing more sad than ripping off your shirt at the beach and having some woman retract in horror until she realizes you are not an older hairy woman flashing people. Seinfeld has a hilarious episode on bras for men. Suggested titles for said appliance include the "Bro" and the "Manssier". I really can't think of the equivalent side-effect for a woman. It's not like one day a woman will get fat enough to develop a large Adam's Apple. Maybe hair on a woman's upper lip might come close. The bottom line is that this side-effect adds insult to injury. Not only are you overweight, but you are developing female characteristics. Believe it or not, there is a scientific name for this: gynecomastia. And a word to the wise gents, I hear this condition is very hard to reverse as breast weight is the last to go. In any event, I look forward to one day replacing my man-ta ta's with pecks!

Well that does it for this week's post. I want to thank my readers for their words of encouragement. See you next week.

Peace and love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Changing it up a bit

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 289 lbs
Weight yesterday: 286 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 38.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 10
Weeks to go: 42

OK...I'm changing things up a bit. This week I am taking my Saturday weight instead of my Sunday weight. The reason for this is that I gave myself the night off last night and ate/drank a little much. I'm sure the 5 1/2 lbs the scales said I gained since I weighed at 2:00p yesterday afternoon are mostly water weight. ;-)

Back on the wagon today though.

I would like to thank my wife and my mother and father-in-law for a very good time last night. It feels good to cut loose. That said, it makes me want to knuckle down and try even harder today since I don't feel as well this morning as I'm used to feeling.

Here is the testimony from last night:

- About 1/2 pound of this way cool Mexican dip my mother-in-law made (ground beef, corn, chilis, mexican seasoning)
- About 30 Baked Lays scoop chips to shovel the aforementioned tastiness into my mouth
- 10 Tag Along Girl Scout cookies
- 1 piece of cheese cake
- 8 shots of Crown Royal
- 2 DIET A & W cream sodas (a boy has to watch his figure you know)

We also toasted to many of our dead relatives. How Irish of us?

Anywho, my goal for this week is to break the 40lbs lost barrier. Wish me luck!

Peace and love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

I Lost How Much Weight This Week?

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 294 lbs
Weight Today: 289 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 35.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 9
Weeks to go: 43

OK, I'm a little befuddled. I had a 5 lb drop this week. I didn't starve myself and I didn't walk any more than usual (2 miles/day). Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I'll shed this gelatinous nastiness anyway I can. I just wasn't prepared for this big a loss. That's really a lie. I weigh myself twice a day. I knew exactly what I as going to weigh today. That said, considering the extreme stress between work and mom's health, I really don't know how this happened.

This week I rediscovered Morning Star Farms veggie burgers and veggie chicken patties. They are very tasty. I'm not trying to be a vegetarian...but the veggie stuff is just a little healthier than a hamburger or a real breaded chicken patty. Morning Star also makes veggie buffalo wings. They are like chicken nuggets (no meat obviously) with buffalo spices. They are delish! They provide me with more variety and QUICK ways to eat.

Time for another episode of Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". Today, we are going to discuss extreme belly button depth, scientifically referred to as Cavernous Umbilicus. Most folks have a belly button for which they can see the bottom just by looking in a mirror. When you get laaaaarge, the depth of said belly button increases. When you are major pork product, you end up with this wishing well type thing on your stomach. Besides the obvious negativity of having what amounts to a hole in the middle of your stomach, there are the issues with making sure it stays clean and free of belly button lint. This can be an issue when you have a normal belly button. When you have a fat-induced crater, it can be challenging. I remember losing one of my kids in my belly button for a week. It all worked out well because when she finally climbed out, she had my TV's remote control, a jelly bean, and many coins that were evidently tossed in by hopefuls whist offering up wishes. I exaggerate. I don't eat jelly beans.

Anyway, this was a good week. They all are really. Clothes are getting more loose and I'm feeling better than I have in years. I can't imagine what it will be like to be down below 250 some day (dare I say it, 200?). It's been a really long time.

Until next week, thanks to all of my beloved friends and family who spur me on with good recipes and positive quips. All are very appreciated.

Peace and love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

30 lbs of fat are gone

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 297.5
Weight Today: 294
Weight Lost This Week: 3.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 30.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 8
Weeks to go: 44

What is up people? I'm not going to lie to you, this has been a crappy week. There's been the usual BS at work mixed with my mom in and out of the hospital coupled with Barack Obama announcing that he would like to destroy the industry that puts food on the table for my kids. I voted for him!! Woo woo! Ain't democracy grand.

I am happy the weight continues to come off. I must say it's not that hard to diet. I really enjoy walking and have increased it to 3 miles a day. I had hoped to lose 100 lbs on this experiment and, while that is still the goal, I'm hoping I can maybe get down to 200 lbs (124.5 lbs lost). We'll see.

Since I am in one foul mood I'm not sure what kind of humorous anecdote I can come up with this week. I think "This Week's Nasty Food Side Effect" will be that bane of my existence known as side meat. Side meat is the honey ham sized lumps bolted onto each side of my waste..slightly higher and to the back.

Side meat gets caught on chair handles, door jams, car spoilers, and more. Not all men have side meat. Some men gain all of their weight in the front of their stomachs. My side meat means that some clothes that were made for big people don't fit me. For example, when I finally find a t-shirt that fits around the side meat, it goes down to my knees and the shoulders end about half way down my arms. It's really cool when a t-shirt has a graphic on it...say like Bob Marley. His head actually hangs about even with my groin. Then the side meat kicks in. With the added stretch occurring where his face lands, it actually makes old Bob look like he's grinning. So I walk around with a Rastafarian joker lookin' guy hanging around my waste. If a Big Mac container had a picture of me in my Bob Marley shirt on it, there wouldn't be any fat people.

That's it for this week. I'm changing my blogging schedule yet again. I will have one scheduled blog on Sundays (weigh in day) and may blog mid-week if something cool happens.

Peace and humptiness to all.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

2/23-2/24: Food and Exercise Log

2/23/2009

Slimfast = 180
Ham sammich w/ Southwest sauce = 400
Baked Lays = 130
Cereal/fruit bar = 130
3 pints Guinness (210 X 3) = 630
8 thin Triscuits w/ slice of 2% cheese = 120
1 piece whole wheat bread = 70
1 glass low sugar apple juice = 60
TOTAL = 1,720
Exercise = None
Net Calories = 1,720


2/24/2009
Total cereal w/ light soy milk= 280
Ham sammich w/mustard = 300
Baked lays = 130
Cereal/fruit bar = 130
Veggie chicken patty w/ 2% cheese and southwest sauce = 290
Baked BBQ Lays = 140
Cereal/fruit bar = 130
Total = 1,400
Exercise = -250 (30 minutes)
Net Calories = 1,150

Get thee behind me 300.

Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 300.5
Weight Today: 297.5
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 27 lbs
Weeks Completed: 7
Weeks to go: 45

OK...297 is still way fat; however, it is below 300. Yay!

This week was pretty good. I did fall of the wagon a few times but the result was still on plan. It's been exceptionally hard since this is Girl Scout cookie time. I have about 100 cases of Girl Scout cookies in my dining room. They cat call me as I walk by. I feel so violated by their unsolicited overtures. When they get warm, you see writing inscribed on them:

"One cookie so tasty and small, One cookie to entice him, One cookie will make him fall, and in the fatness bind him."

It's sad but true. I do long for the cookies. They are precious to me.

Anyway...300 is in the rear view mirror. Exercise is a daily event now (1.6 miles in 28 minutes). I'm going to add another 1/2 mile sometime this week. I really dig the exercise thing. It's good "thinking"time and it's helping with my hunger and energy.

I'm going to start putting my food diary back on here on a daily basis. I may not have much to say beyond that on any given day but it will force me to keep tracking this stuff. I'll probably devote Sundays (after weighing in) to a longer story.

Rock on fat guy watchers and thanks for your support!

Peace and love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

I Have Sinned!

OK...I blew it last night.

I ate some Hostess muffins, a Roslyn cookie, and some peanut butter...oh and a burnt lemon poppy seed muffin. No, I'm not pregnant...I just look that way. In any event, I must confess...I was weak! I inhaled (confections)! I lusted in my heart (for fat)!

I'm now whipping myself with a cat-o-nine-tails and chanting, "Forgive me fat voyeur nation!" Forgive me for the wanton undisciplined grazing that I gave into last night. Forgive me for every piece of deliciousness I shoved into my drooling mouth with both hands.

OK...that's over.

I'm back on the wagon and had a great day today. I'm still walking 1.6 miles in 28 minutes every day.

God save the queen.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Lost: One Four Pound Lump of Fat

Starting Weight: 325 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 4 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 24 lbs
Weeks Completed: 6

OK...so I'm a big fan of exercise now. I walked 1.6 miles (in 30 mins) 5 days this week. I know that is the primary reason I lost 4 lbs instead of the usual 2 or 3. I feel much better. Here's the cool thing, I don't need as much sleep! I used to sleep for about 9 hours and wake up tired. On the weekend, I'd throw in another 2 hour nap each day. Now 8 hours does the trick.

My wife has a recipe for Roslyn Bakery "Smiley Face" cookies. For those of you not in Indy, these are cookies that used to be sold by the now-defunct Roslyn Bakery. They are the bomb. They amount to a thick sugar cookie that is just a bit solid (but cake-like in the middle) with a hardened sugar frosting on the outside. Why my wife chose to make like four dozen of them is beyond me. But I have abstained, yay verily!

I've also become a fan of Soy Milk (Light Vanilla) on my cereal. It adds some extra flavor without the extra calories.

Time for an episode of Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". When you are uber fat, you start getting fat rolls on the back of your head. If you were bald, it would look like you had a package of hot dogs glued to your neck. This sucks for a variety of reasons. First, having a fat head is just sad. There isn't much natural fat on the human head. To get "rolls" of it, you have to be really trying. Also, it creates a nice crease (or creases) in your hair. That crease tells everyone that you would rather eat at Taco Bell than have a normal neck. I heard a comedian mention that some folks look like they have a CD rack on the back of their head. Maybe that's where my copy of Thriller is? Anywho, the good news is that when you start to lose weight, neck fat is the first to go.

Bottom line: Things are going well and I'm pleased. Soon, I hope to be reporting that I am under 300 lbs.

Peace and Love,

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

What I've learned about ME losing weight so far...

OK, five and a half weeks and 21.5 pounds into this one year project I have learned a few things. Some of these are painfully obvious but I "get" them now. It will be interesting to see if this list stays the same as I progress further.

1. Weight loss is only about calories consumed vs calories burned.
No matter what anyone tells you to the contrary, this is matter of well-documented human anatomical FACT. It's true that certain calories burn faster than others and certain food makes you feel hungrier than others. In the end, it's always calories in vs calories out.

2. Never, ever, eat anything for which you cannot calculate the EXACT amount of calories.
I was eating about 500 calories a day more than I thought. I was really watching what I was eating but when I sat down and calculated things like my sub sandwich (mayo, cheese, special bread), I was really surprised at all the extra calories that were hidden. Since you have to burn 3,500 calories to lose a pound of weight, 500 hidden calories per day could cost you one pound a week. If you don't count the exact calories (rather than estimating what you "think" the calories are) then you are kidding yourself.

3. Whenever you eat, be disciplined about it.
If you are going to eat something bad, calculate how much, and then stick to that. Don't ever go hog wild. If you know you are going to be in a situation where you are going to fall off the wagon, figure out something realistic (four slices of pizza, five beers, 20 chips and dip, etc.) and then stick to it. You'll be off the wagon but it will be planned (disciplined). The same thing holds true when you are eating things low in calories. For example, if you want to snack on whole wheat crackers, don't sit down and graze until you feel full. That is not disciplined and reinforces "old" habits of eating what I want for as long as I want.

4. Plan a variety of meals
Monotony derails me on almost every diet. There are thousands of healthy recipes out there.

5. Don't get bored.
When I get bored, I head to my first level of "entertainment" which is eating. This is never a problem for me on week days but can be a problem on weekends when it is nasty out and I'm trapped in the house. As a result, I try to go into the weekend knowing how I am going to spend my time.

6. Keep things around you that conjure up the desperate feeling that started this whole project.
Before I started, I wrote down all of the things that suck about being fat. Some were funny, some were sad, some were down right scary. I review that list often. I also look at thin pictures of me every day.

7. Exercise, exercise, exercise.
Losing weight is a lot easier if you exercise. Aside from the faster weight loss, there are many other benefits. Before you start, talk to someone who knows about exercise and begin with a REALISTIC plan. Don't overdue it and hurt yourself but, at the same time, you need to push yourself.

8. Keep it simple
Every planned diet I have ever been on (LA Weight Loss, Atkins, South Beach, Optifast, etc.) always came with a level of complexity. I needed to find a simple way of monitoring what I eat. The more complicated I make it, the more likely I will mess up, and then give up.

9. Last but not least, have a lot of support on tap.
This blog has proven to be a good instrument to keep my family and friends in the loop on my project. The comments and e-mails I receive keep me going. It also makes me feel like I am accountable to a group of folks. Humans weren't meant to go through challenges alone. This is a group effort and I appreciate you all.

Pardon me, but have you seen 3 lbs of triesters of glycerol and fatty acids? I seem to have lost mine.

Weigh in day has arrived. The total shedding this week is 3 lbs. That brings the total to 19.5 lbs in 5 weeks. After doing some research, it seems I have lost the equivalent of a small car tire, a Karaoke machine, or a decent sized game tuna. My knees and hips are grateful, I'm sure.

I had an interesting thing happen to me last night. My daughter and I were watching Apollo 13 when she looked at me and asked me, "Daddy, what's a stud?" Caught off guard, I came up with "a horse that has retired and will just make babies for the rest of his life." Realizing how "Animal Planet" that all sounded, I then explained that some girls might refer to a cute boy as a stud. My daughter responded with, "Daddy, you're a stud!" Needless to say, that sounded OK to me. To all of the girls in Jr and Sr high who doubted my studdliness, I say "Get...you...some!" Better late than never.

I would like to thank Hye Kyong Nicholson and Rita Blay for supplying me with some recipes last week. Rita sent tasty-sounding recipes for Meatloaf and Taco Soup. Hye Kyong sent a tasty-sounding recipe for roasted asparagus. I say tasty-sounding because I haven't been able to try any of them yet. My diet is in a rut and I want to bust out these recipes ASAP.

I exercised for the first time this week. All hail, all rise. I walked a mile and a half yesterday. It felt good. My friend Stephanie said I need to "get addicted" to walking. I told her I thought it would be cool to become as addicted to walking as I am to biscuits and gravy. I took our little dog Gizmo out for his first walk. He had a big time, though he came back soaked and muddy. If he could have talked, I'll bet he would have explained his good time like this:

"It was so cool! There were these three mounds of canine feces that I investigated along the way. From the urine trails I picked up, there are at least a dozen other dogs that have hung out along our route...I think one has a bladder infection. I was able to put faces with some of the barks I've been hearing. They were all friendly except for these two Labs that kept shouting "Lab power! Lab power!". They seemed to want to eat me. In the end, it was a blast. The big guy with me was a red-faced, stinky mess towards the end, but I hope we get to do it again soon."

I was enlightened a little this week. I broke down the calories in the turkey sub that I usually get in our cafe' during the workweek. The pepper jack cheese, southwestern mayo, and garlic Parmesan bread adds 300 calories to the sub...basically doubling it. The downside is the cheese and mayo add the spiciness I love. Maybe I'll just have them add banana peppers and jalapenos.

All in all, my little one year experiment is off to a good start. I have a long way to go, but not as long as I had 5 weeks ago.

Peace and love.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

"What a beautiful and enormous abdomen you have Mr. Smith!"

This has never been said to me...not even in jest.

Sorry it has been awhile since I have blogged. This week has been REALLY SLOW! You see, I want to be thin NOW and while I have lost weight, I still weigh roughly the same as 7 1/2 bags of Morton Rock Salt!

Anyway, it's a marathon, not a sprint, right?
Slow and steady wins the race...
A stitch in time saves nine. WTF?

I need some healthy recipes. I'm getting very bored with my food choices.

One of my goals this summer is to fit into a roller coaster seat again. My boy is old enough (more importantly tall enough) to ride and I want to get to it. That leads to today's nasty fat side effect:

About 5 years ago (and 25 lbs below my current weight) I went to Kings Island with a friend. It was a day at the end of the season that was not announced on the Website. As a result, my friend and I were 2 of about 500 people in the whole park...seriously.

The first roller coaster we went to ride was "Son of Beast". I should have known things were going to go badly when the seventeen year-old, pimple-ridden, roller coaster technician had to put his back into it to get the restraint closed over me. The restraint effectively cut me in half. As the roller coaster took off, the gaggle of King's Islanders were smiling at the bisected fat guy speeding off to his doom. As the roller coaster went up the main hill, I informed my buddy that I would in fact being dying soon and would he mind terribly not mentioning to the coroner how the Kings Island kid had to use his knee to get the cross bar down over me.

We flew through the jerky terror of a ride that would have hurt a man half my size. All I know is that I am sure my kidneys were bruised. I know they were bruised because they were pinned up in my chest when the bar went down and they kept smacking me in the face throughout the ride.

By the time the ride ended, I was in serious pain--not James Khan in "Misery" pain--more like Joe Pesci in "Home Alone" pain. To top it off, the exit strategy was even better than getting buckled in. To open the bar, you have to push down first. Down just happened to be another half inch into my small intestines. I took it all like a man, which is to say I cussed like a sailor.

Internal injuries be damned! I limped away and went through this exercise another 12 or so times throughout the day. Man, thin can't come quick enough.

One Month In the Can

You tell me, does the title sound like a salute to one month on this project or a TLC documentary on life in San Quentin?

I weighed in today and lost another 3 lbs this week bringing the grand total to 16.5 lbs. I have to say there is some frustration. I weighed yesterday morning and was down 4 lbs. I was really good on Saturday and even just ate a grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli when I went to Chili's with friends. This is why you shouldn't weigh every day. A human being can hold from 1-3 lbs of extra water in a day just by eating a salty meal...which I'm sure is part of it. I drank a 32 oz diet Pepsi on the drive home last night to stay awake (since we were on the road from midnight to 2:15a to get home.) Damn it! I really wanted to do better. This would be a good time for any of you following along to chime in with some support. The tough part is that after 16.5 lbs lost, I am still heavier than at any time in my life before 2008. I'll be OK. At the end of this week, hopefully I'll be reporting on at least another 3 lbs lost.

Last night, my family went to Cincinnati to watch my nephew play hockey for Eastern Kentucky. Before that, we met up with my old friends from college (the Holdcrafts) and had dinner. That was cool. They have a very beautiful family. Rob and I marvelled at how 15 years after school our families gathering resulted in 10 people and two minivans. Who knew. Oh, and EKU won the game!

I would like to report that I found a small benefit to being obese last night. After a couple of hours in the hockey rink, my hands were freezing. Tucking them up under my stomach kept them nice and toasty. I offered the benefit to my sister-in-law who politely declined.

OK...deep breath. Pushing on. 83.5 lbs to go.

Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting...it really helps me. Remember to tell your friends to come, it don't cost nuthin'.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

If It Don't Fit, You Must Acquit...

Today's motivating factor to diet was thinking about things I would like to be able to wear...and will hopefully be able to wear some day in the not too distant future.

Navy Pea coat
Trench coat
Leather jacket
(OK...it's been cold lately.)

To clarify, they make all of these coats in fat people sizes but they look really silly. I tried a leather jacket on at the Big Fat Guy store and I looked like a leather couch. If I had a trench coat on it would look like I have four or five midgets hiding under the coat as part of a Jack-Ass prank.

I haven't made it to the gym yet and I'm pretty sure it won't happen this week. It's OK though if I still lose weight. We'll see Sunday. Ha! I weigh myself twice a day. I know you shouldn't but I can't help it.

Work has been nutty. The snow has been nutty. My kids have been nutty. I would like to say that my middle child just took a "progress test" in kindergarten and had the highest score at the school in three years (also higher than some first and second graders). She has bought into the plan that only smart people are going to get a post-secondary education in the Smith Family. Viva scholarships!

I'm really not as wigged out and random as I sound. I'm just ready to snap and would like just one bag of Doritos or one chocolate cake to take the edge off. On my way home, I kept my eye out for any transient bakers who might be willing to trade confections for shelter. No luck.

Still doing well on my diet. I'm gonna have to work out soon to manage this stress.

Peace and joy to you all.

Len

Anyone got a Dilly Bar?

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Blogging's for Sissies

I ate well today. Mini wheat for breakfast, peanut butter sammiches for lunch, Triscuits for a snack, and cottage cheese/tomato for diner. I'll snack later too.

Today was a snow day. I worked from home...which I usually hate because I can't quite get into the mood to work when I'm home. The 12" of snow outside made going to work not worth it. As of 8:00p, we only have one lane plowed on our street. I was going to shovel the driveway but my neighbor and his space age snow blower got there first. Shucks.

I'm nervous about this weekend. My family and I will likely be going to Cincinnati this weekend to watch my nephew play hockey for Eastern Kentucky. They will all want to do dinner as part of the experience. This will also be the day before I weigh in. Ug.

I have nothing much to say. I played with my dog for a minute and now I can't breathe. It's amazing...at this weight I could insert just about anything at the beginning of that sentence and it would end in "...and now I can't breath." If I really wanted to be accurate, I could end everything with "...and now I can't breath and I'm sweating like a madam on dollar night.

Not for much longer, I hope.

I hope you all had fun and stayed safe today.

Peace.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

I Think A Polar Bear Bit Me

Sorry about missing the post last night. For missing my blog, I punished myself mercilessly...and by mercilessly I mean I made myself go to work today. Ah yes, work was a drama wrapped in a spectacle, woven into a tragedy inside a big ta-do. And do you know how I reacted to said drama? I got cranky, made some bad decisions, and may have set world peace back decades...but I did NOT overeat. No applause please, I do it for the kids.

My Monday and Tuesday of this week were pretty much as they have been on this whole project: SlimFast's space age genetically-engineered wonder juice for breakfast, a turkey sub for lunch (with Baked Lays) and a small dinner. Dinner last night was Triscuits and cheese (I got home really late from work). Tonight it was two scrambled eggs with green onions, red, yellow, and orange bell peppers (yum on a stick) all stuffed into two whole wheat pitas.

I HAVE EXERCISED!!! In the last three days I have shoveled snow off of my driveway twice. Those of you who have seen my house know that my driveway is long, steep, and has a large area at the top by the garage. It was a decent workout to do it all by myself Sunday and to do half of it Monday (thanks to my lovely wife who had it half shoveled by the time I got home tonight).

I'm wasting away folks. The fat is melting off of me as we speak. There will be a puddle of lipids on this chair when the blogging concludes. Tomorrow, I'll be all bad-ass looking...you know, like Luke Perry or that dude in the band Nelson.

Ridiculous 90210/Nelson humor aside...I'm doing OK. My stress level at work is a 9 out of 10 right now; however, I've resisted the urge to soothe the pain with food.

By the way, many of you indicate you are not receiving e-mail notifications when I post. I don't think there is anything I can set to make that happen. There is only an area to specify up to 10 e-mail addresses. Those of you on Facebook may have noticed that I syndicate this blog on my Facebook page. That may be a more convenient way to read it than coming here for you Facebook addicts (like me).

Peace and love to you all.

Len

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com

Shhhh....everybody quiet. The fat guy's gonna say something.

Hello blog people.

Sorry it has been a week since my last post. I weighed in today and lost 3.5 lbs this week. That's 13.5 lbs total in 3 weeks. I've almost lost the weight equivalent of an Olsen twin. I'm pleased. Only 86.5 lbs to go.

OK, I'm reevaluating my blog frequency. After being pretty diligent on the daily posts for the first week, I dropped to once a week. My primary reason for that is that most days I am just flowing along eating less and better. I felt that if I didn't have anything real interesting or funny to say, why bother posting. I was really missing the point. The reason I started this blog is to be accountable to you all who are following a long on a DAILY basis. Most of all, I want to never lose sight of the importance of what I am doing, even for a day. I've got a wife and three children who expect me to live well into my 120s. Notwithstanding cryogenic head freezing, longevity will be probably only be a reality by eating right and exercising.

So my eating this week has been pretty good. Slim Fast, Cracklin' Oat Bran, turkey sammiches, lean meats, etc. have been the food choices. I still don't really feel like I'm on a diet. I don't feel very deprived. Yesterday I had a serious craving for chips so I ate some Baked Doritos. They were surprisingly tasty. The texture was kind of like eating an egg carton but the flavor was good. I had a night eating episode once this week (the first in two weeks). I ended up eating cinnamon Pop Tarts. Now I love Pop Tarts but they tasted gross and I didn't feel very good when I woke up the next morning. I filed that away for the next time I get hungry in the middle of the night.

I'm hoping that this week I will be able to start my exercise routine. Many people at work have been religious about exercising lately and it is paying dividends for them. I know it's key for me too. I just need to get it going. Wish me luck.

Fun fact to know and tell: Slim fast has 24 ingredients, most of which sound like names of characters in a Greek tragedy.

Narrator: Behold, Carrageenan and Acesufame approach.
Carageenan: Alas, Acesulfame, I have discovered that my wife is my mother, and also your sister.
Acesulfame: That sucks.
Fin

http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/

Week 2 in the Books

Sorry Blogsters...I have been remiss in my duties for the past few days. Today is my second weigh in...two weeks into the project. I am happy to report 2 additional pounds have found their way off me and on to wherever shed fatness goes. That is a total of 10lbs in two weeks. Not quite as much shock and awe this week as last. I think this week's weight loss represents a more natural and real number. Last week was likely a lot of water weight since my salt intake as dropped.

So now...90 pounds to go and 51.5 weeks left before the big 4-0.

I'm pretty happy.

This week I discovered Walmart's Great Value Southwestern Spicy mustard. Only 10 calories a tablespoon and mucho flavor. I added it to stir fry last night and was pleased. Like I've said before, if healthy food has a lot of flavor, I'm much more likely to keep eating it.

On the night eating front, I can report that I no longer get up to eat. I don't know how this happened and why it's easier for me this time around. It could be the vault door I put on my room or the hungry Rottweiler that sits outside the pantry. Kidding. It's a Shih-Poo, not a Rottweiler.

Since I have been slacking with the blog for a few days, I'll add a new episode of "Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". Today's discussion will center around seat belt extensions on commercial aircraft. Only once have I needed said device. I think newer airplanes are just facing the fact that Americans are getting fatter, and have increased the size of the standard seat belt. But for the one time I had to use it...man it sucked. Picture this: A poor fat man is boarding a plane. He's got a laptop on one arm and a carry on in the other. By the time he gets to his seat, he's fairly generously bathed in sweat. As he puts his bags away, he notices the "Real Housewife of Orange County" in the seat next to his is nervously watching as he prepares to sit.

As he sits (insert Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect about Stadium Chairs) he is aware that Ms. Perma-tan next to him has managed to squeeze her entire Botox-infused frame onto the half of her seat nearest the window. I'm sure she is afraid that if she touches the portly fellow, she might catch "the fat". So he finally squeezes into his seat and begins to fidget with the seat belt...you know Federal Regs and all. As he extends the seat belt to it's fullest length, he realizes he is about an inch short of bringing the ends together. He starts what I call "the fat man dance". This is where girthy people try to suck in, shimmy, shake, and pray that whatever it is that is too small will somehow just give in and fit. Who knows how much collateral sweat flew off and hit the poor 50-year old debutante. From the sign of the cross she was making at me, I would say a lot.

At some point the pudgy traveler musters all his strength, all his courage, all his fear, all his love, all his hate and with everything he has in him he tries to pull the two seat belt ends together. If he had been alone, he would have let out a lion-like roar in anguish. At this point, Ms. Orange County even starts to pity the round ball of futility sitting next to her. The thing that the man has forgotten is that these seat belts are really not designed to give...at all.

About this time, the stewardess comes over the intercom to remind everyone to put on their seat bets. Oh, the humanity. Our weary traveler realizes that he cannot comply. Believe it or not he doesn't know seat belt extenders even exist. He figures the airline will just have him sign a waiver acknowledging that in the event of turbulence, if he is thrown from his seat, he can't sue. He feels OK with this since it would take a shoe horn and a fireman to get him out of his seat anyway.

So he presses the call button and a stewardess arrives. After explaining to the stewardess the situation, her years of training kick in. She promptly returns with what appears to be another seat belt. As she gets closer, it becomes evident it is a seat belt extender. By this time, a half dozen people easily are following along with the events. She explains to him how to use it and the situation is resolved. You should have seen how folks looked at the guy when the drink and peanut snack came. They were all staring like "I know you aren't going to eat those peanuts after all that, fat boy."

So, while safe from turbulence, I was quite humiliated. Wouldn't it be funny if all of the fat I lose finds it's way to Ms. Orange County's thighs? I can dream.

Until the next blog...thanks for your support.

39 years young.

Ok...the clock officially starts ticking on the 1-year experiment. I'm starting off a little ahead. 92 lbs to go. 39 years old today.

Things have been going well. My wife baked some chocolate chips cookies yesterday. They were small so I ate six of them. Today is my birthday so I had a little piece of cake. Other than those two instances...things have been going well. Today it was Slimfast, ham and cheese with baked Lays and a Lean Cuisine on the menu.

I feel it's time to start exercising. My work has a decent facility and some training is available. I just need to figure out if it will be before or after work. Neither sounds cool but I need to get with it.

Nothing too humorus to say today except Ana Nicole Smith, Malcom X, and Martin Luther King Jr. all died when they were 39. That would be one way to lose weight.

Hard One

OK...last night was "return of the not eating at night crack withdrawals". It didn't help that my daughter was puking like the exorcist last night. I kept waking up wanting to go down stairs and butter something. I didn't eat but it was hard. It was hard today too. Not really hungry...just craving some of the old garbage. I just spent the last 30 minutes looking at old pics from when I was thin. It's motivational.

By the way, I hooked up with some old friends on Facebook today. Did you know you could use it for that? I thought it was just for taking quizzes.

Today was Slimfast, a salad, a Lean Cuisine pizza and three small chocolate chip cookies. I know I have sinned! The cookies were 80 calories each. I'm going to go outside and yell "the fat man fell off the horse" and see if any of my neighbors shoot me.

Thanks for playing along. Talk to you soon!

Gonna be a fast one.

Hey folks.

After 8 days of really thinking about each post, I am going to take a night off. It was a good day. Slimfast for breakfast, ham and cheese sammich with Baked Lays for lunch and a baked potato with low fat honey mustard sauce.

Catch you on the next go around.

Weigh in day.

Drum roll please...

OK...I lost 8 lbs this week. I think that is roughly the weight of a gallon of milk. I'm pretty thrilled. When you're a biggin, you can drop a lot of weight very quickly at the beginning of a diet. I'll take it though. It hasn't been a bad week. I have never really been hungry (except the first couple of nights when I would wake up starving.) Since then, I have not been eating at night.

Tonight, I had a ham and cheese omelet for dinner. It was very tasty. I made it with no butter, about a tablespoon full of shredded cheddar cheese, and about 3 oz of lean ham. I took it all and rolled it in a piece of whole-wheat flat bread. Lunch was another grilled chicken and pepper wrap. I'm trying to use up the peppers before they go bad. I found that yellow and red bell peppers get sweet when you stir fry them in a little light vegetable oil. Breakfast was mini wheat again. I snacked on some baked Doritos this afternoon when I felt the need to chew.

OK...it's been a few days since the last "Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect" so here it goes. Those of us on the portlier side of life discover that at some point our thighs begin to rub together. The really big amongst us notice that the two thighs eventually become one! It's a marriage of fat and cellulose. The result can be unnatural wear and tear on the inner thighs of pants. Even better is some serious chafing at the pool or beach. There's no way around it. I suppose you could slather on some lotion to ease the friction or maybe wear chaps...but then you go from being a sad fat person with thigh chafing to a sad fat person with thigh chafing who is also a freak. Really, losing weight seems to be the best way to go. I'd like to be able to sit with my knees together again without pulling a groin muscle in the process.

In the final analysis, I know that this is just the first week. It's going to take many before I undo the damage I have done to my body over the last ten years. I am encouraged. I haven't been too hungry, I have eaten a decent variety of food, and I am feeling better. Being accountable to my friends and family through this blog is motivational. Each of you adding comments, sending e-mails, and posting Facebook messages, encourages me to go on. Thank you for that!

51 weeks to go on this project...then the rest of my life.

Saturday night's alright for dieting...

Wassup...

Breakfast was mini wheat, lunch was grilled chicken and peppers on warmed whole-wheat flat bread (yum-o-matic), and dinner was a salad with a lot of tomatoes and sunflower seeds.

You know...I measured out my mini wheat for the first time this morning and came to the conclusion that I normally eat six to eight servings. That's when I used to go by the "fill the large mixing bowl 'till it's full" method. Holy cow, I knew I was eating more than I should but dang. That was the equivalent of about 300% of my daily fibre needs...which explains a lot. The thing is, with one serving, 15 minutes later I was satisfied. I am marvelling at how my body really can be satisfied with less and better food. It's my head that isn't screwed on right (shut up Tressler). If you read yesterday's post, in it I decided to blame my stomach for my thickness. I'm changing that, now I'm blaming my head. In it's infinite logic, my head consistently reasons that double, triple, even quadruple portions of food are OK. My head also contains my mouth, which has gotten me into more trouble in my life than all my other bodily organs combined. So I hate my head now.

Last night, as I was on safari at the Noblesville Walmart, I picked up some General Mills Fibre One bars (oats and chocolate)...only 130 calories each but very satisfying and quite tasty. Eating one also provides me with the illusion that I am getting a treat.

No eating at night last night and it was much easier than the previous two mights. What do they say, it takes 14 consecutive days to form a habit? Only 11 more!

I deliberately picked a large project (reorganizing our entire home) to keep me busy today. I was up and down two flights of stairs about 40 times. I feel pretty good. In the end, our laundry room is clean, our basement (my man cave) is clean...except my wides screen is dead, and the rest of the house is respectable. Lest I take all the credit, my wife worked like a trooper all day too.

Tomorrow is my first weigh in. I'm expecting great things.

Love,

Len

It's Friiiiiiiiiiiday.

Another good day.

I've gone two days in a row without eating in the middle of the night. I wish I could say it was easy. I wake up hungry and my blood sugar feels really low. I sit there for about a half hour and go back to sleep. I think my body has developed a serious habit and is not giving in quietly.

I've been speaking fairly harshly about my body lately. I've been making fun of it being big, sloppy, big and sloppy. You know, it's really not my body's fault. It's my stomach's fault. It's important to isolate blame. So now I hate my stomach. First of all, it's always being like, "I'm hungry, feed me." AND it sits squarely between me and seeing my belt buckle without a mirror. Come to think of it, if I look straight down, I can't see crap. My horizon is 10 inches below my chin. I could have a stalker hiding under there and wouldn't know it. Oh the humanity.

That said, these six days haven't been that hard. I've kicked up my activity level a bit and have resisted the urge to sit down and watch TV. Smokers talk about taking themselves out of situations that enable their smoking habit. Well, lethargy and stress enable my eating habit. Funny how both can be counteracted with activity. I have noticed that since I have been eating better, I am more mentally active and moving around isn't as dreadful an idea as it was before. Maybe I can start a positive cycle here.

Today's menu included the daily Slim Fast shake, a Lean Cuisine Chicken Philly Cheese Steak (yum), and a ham sammich from Subway (no mayo, no chips).

There will be no "Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". I tallied them up and since I have 359 days to go on this blog and nowhere near that many PG rated side effects, I have to spread them out. If this was a R rated blog, we could break into some really fun stuff.

Weight in is in two days.

Peace mein freunde!

Len

Another Day, Another Diet

Hey fat person voyeurs. I hope you are all doing well.

I had a pretty good day. SlimFast in the morning, salad for lunch, dark chocolate bite for afternoon snack, and a ham sammich/pretzels for dinner.

Last night...I didn't snack in the middle of the night. I woke up about five times though. Each time I felt like heading downstairs for a snack. I'm really going to fight through the urge to get up in the middle of the night. Thanks to all of you who have stopped by with advice about that. The advice has ranged from "kill yourself with sleeping pills like Elvis did" to "try an exorcism". I do so love the advice of my friends.

I'm not sure what my blog status will be for the weekend. To tell you the truth, I am kind of dreading the weekend. During the week, between work and kid time, I don't have a lot of spare time to sit and think about food. I need to make sure I am occupied this weekend. Maybe I'll start a youth hostel or found a religion. Maybe I'll design a stadium chair with lubricated sides.

Time for "Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect". Here it goes. When you are really hefty around the waste (read: almost as wide around as you are are tall) sitting in chairs at sporting events can suck. You sort of melt into the chair. Your fat, like water, seeks the path of least resistance and fills all the little nooks and crannies in the chair. Then, when your team does well, you try to stand up and clap and nearly rip the floor up with you. Plus, the release of your side meat from the confines of the chair results in a fatty spillover onto your neighbors who are likely trying to eat nachos or drink a beer. By about half time, you give up and swear that the next person who starts a "The Wave" is getting slapped.

All in all...my first "business week" in this experiment went well. I'll weigh Sunday and let you know how it goes.

Peace and liposuction to all.

Len

Today I didn't even have to use my A.K. I got to say it was a good day.

I would have to have two more joints in my back to be able to see my belt buckle without a mirror.

I had a good day at work and a good day eating. I forgot to grab a Slimfast on the way out the door. A cup of tea got me through the morning. I had a nice salad for lunch. I am really craving tomatoes and our cafe' has had decent tomatoes (for January) the last few days. I also think steamed broccoli sounds good. Maybe tomorrow. For dinner I had baked lemon pepper chicken (thanks wife of mine) with no yolk egg noodles. I had a mini dark chocolate bar (bite size) as an afternoon snack.

Last night, when I woke...a grabbed a piece of white bread and it did the trick. I know, 70 empty calories...but not the 550 calories in a sleeve of Ritz crackers.

Exercise is still not in the routine. Right now, I'm really focusing on getting momentum with eating better. I know exerise is key...but baby steps.

I'm going to start a new feature in this blog called "Nasty Fat Person Side Effects". Each day I will list some type of suckery that is due to my girth.

Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect: Having to sit farther away from the table due to my gut size which increases the chance of dropping food on my stomach. There is nothing more sad than a fat guy with a food stain on his shirt.

Peace to all and weight loss to me!

Day #3: The walls are closing in.

OK...so writing this blog makes me sweat.

Day three boys and girls was Slimfast, salad, and a baked potatoE with low fat Honey Mustard salad dressing. OK, not eating like a champ but not eating heinous either.

First coming clean moment: At midnight, I awoke hungry and ate a sleeve of Ritz crackers. For about the last 20 years, I wake up about an hour and a half after I go to bed and I am ravenously hungry. The same thing happens when I wake up from a nap. The downside is that at night, I can sneak down and gorge. I have talked to countless health care professionals and they just say stop doing it. K. Rolling over doesn't work. I just think about the perfect opportunity I have to sneak food...in my own house...that I paid for anyway. Maybe this springs from some kind of perceived denial in my youth. I don't think it is as much about the eating as it is the sneaking. We actually put a bedroom door knob on the door, lock side out. You'd be surprised how many things in the house can be used to pick a bedroom door lock.

Anywho, I think I am going to come up with some kind of low-calorie snack that I can crunch for a second and feel satisfied. I just read where night eating being bad is a myth.

All in all I really haven't had cravings. The key is variety and not making this experiment about denial. The minute I start denying myself I get all "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." and pig out. The variety thing usually kicks in about week two.

So day three is in the books. Peace my brothers and sisters.

Day two.

Still can't see my belt buckle without a mirror.

Seriously, things went well today. I ate well and got some exercise dodging hillbillies at our local Walmart. Not a bad test today. I had some stress at work and instead of heading to the cafe like a Jonesing crack addict, I drank some water and knuckled down.

• Breakfast: Slimfast shake. Easy, fast, and synthetic.
• Lunch: Salad (w/lots of veggies...some dressing [Thousand Island...I know....bad]), diet Mountain Dew
• Dinner: Lean ham sammich (w/2% cheese and Shed's Spread) and some no fat croutons...delicious, diet Mountain Dew
• Drinking lots of water

So far, no real hunger pangs. I'm encouraged that my body gets satisfied fairly quickly. I'm thinking an apple or maybe some whole wheat crackers for an afternoon snack tomorrow. I got a little grouchy toward the end of the day.

I'm trying to figure out what my exercise routine will be. I'm pretty sure walking will be involved. My work has a decent gym. I may try to start going in the evenings a couple of days a week. What sucks is exercise produces massive sweat which makes me look fat and gross. Still, I know exercise will be key to this whole crazy experiment.

Thanks for checking in.

Getting Started

Ok...how cliche is it to start a new diet at the beginning of a new year. Couple that with the fact that this is a blog, the last thing the world needs another one of, and you have my project.

The last ten years of my life have been wonderful for me. I got married and I have three beautiful children. The downside is, I gained the weight equivalent of a set of four car tires. That's 100lbs to those of you playing along at home. I won't bore you with all of the unpleasant side effects of being this overweight. There are many and they suck. I will tell you that shopping at a big and tall store when you aren't tall is like browsing for movies behind "that curtain" at a video store. It's a little sad and you don't want anyone to see you doing it.

I have tried many diets and have spent a lot of money trying to reverse my unpleasant expansion...all to no avail. So here is my plan: I am going to try and eat better and exercise. What a concept! The twist this time around is that I am going to take you all (my family and friends) along with me on this ride. My goal is to be in better shape at 40 than I was at 30.

I turn 40 on January 14, 2010. That is a little over a year from today. I weighed about 225 in 2000...so there's the bar. I am not just going to use weight as my measuring stick. Stamina, blood pressure, fat %, etc. will be considered as well. Right now, I'm 100% fat, so there is nowhere to go but up (er down!).

For many, sharing their weight and struggle could be humiliating. I intend to try and make it fun. Feel free to comment on my posts. Teasing and poking fun are encouraged. I ask that you keep it PG-13 since there will be some younger folks paying attention.

Off to the races...