Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 275.5 lbs
Weight today: 273.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.0 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 51 lbs
Weeks Completed: 16 Weeks to go: 36
Well, I'm half way there. My goal was to lose 100 lbs in a year. This is also approaching the most weight I have ever lost. My personal record is 60 lbs when I tried Optifast about ten years ago. Optifast was cool. I drank nothing but nasty chocolate drinks every day for four months. In the end, I gained it all back PLUS 40 lbs. I know it's not Optifast's fault but it all seems sort of silly in retrospect. I truly believe that in most cases, extreme weight loss techniques are all short term-even gastric bypass. I've known three people who gained their weight back after having their stomachs stapled. It took them many years, but they still gained the weight back. Anything that does not require you to be disciplined won't last forever.
Time for another episode of Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect. Our topic for today is stretch marks. Most women who have been pregnant could probably describe stretch marks better than me. The difference is that once a woman gives birth, she can forget about her stretch marks, hoist her newborn to the air and scream, "I have created life!". The best a fat man can do is, take stock of his stretch marks, put down his bacon sandwich, and scream, "I have a map of the London Underground naturally stenciled in purple across my abdomen.
Stretch marks are strange and cruel. Even when you lose weight, they don't go away. They may stop being purple, but they mostly don't go away...they turn a nice shade of white. It's kind of like guidelines in a coloring book. I sleep without a shirt on (go ahead, visualize that). I'm afraid one of these days I'll wake up and my four year-old will have colored in my stretch marks. I can only imagine it will look like some unholy tie dye.
One friend of mine told me that when she was pregnant, her doctor told her to rub lotion on her skin twice a day to increase elasticity and avoid stretch marks. I could have lived in a vat of lotion and that wouldn't have saved me. I hope that as a lose weight, I don't end up with extra skin like that chick (er Kate) on John and Kate Plus 8. If so, I'll end up having to have that stuff hacked off and will have fodder for another Today's Nasty Fat Side Effect".
I look at it this way, I can use these stretch marks as a badge of courage. They can be a constant reminder of what 12 years of wanton gluttony can do for a guy, a daily warning that all pizza and no walking make Len a fat boy, a beacon of fat things to come!
It's all good. I'm fitting into older clothes and feeling better. I might even break out some paisley before it's all over.
Thanks for tuning in this week. It's been cool. See you in the 260s.
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
I just missed the mark this week!!
Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 278 lbs
Weight today: 275.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 49 lbs
Weeks Completed: 15
Weeks to go: 37
One more pound and it would have been 50! As it is, I've lost one pound for each state in the union. That union would be the union before August 21, 1959 when there were only 49 states (sorry Hawaii).
I would like to say that there was an initial accounting error last week. I originally reported the total weight lost so far (last Sunday) as 47.5 lbs. That has since been corrected to 46.5 lbs. It seems we used the United States General Accounting Office to audit our math last week. We won't be doing that again.
I would also like to say that at my mom's 65th birthday party last night, I did not eat any of my wife's home made lasagna, none of that tasty salad with that one honey mustard dressing I like, none of that wonderful Italian bread that's crunchy on the outside but light and fluffy on the inside, and none of that kickin' birthday cake with all that butter cream icing deliciousness!!!!!!!!!!! I suppressed my inner gourmand so that I would end the week on a high note. I did it for you, my loyal following. I did it so you all could say, "Cool...he's still going in the right direction." Seriously, I abstained from the chow fest because I have given myself a lot of days off over the last two weeks. If I was smart, I wouldn't do that on a Tuesday work night and, instead, save up for a Saturday birthday party. No one ever accused me of being smart. Smart-a--ed maybe...
This was a really crazy week. Work was insane...for all the wrong reasons. There was a "Days of Our Lives" factor of about 10.5. It felt so school-like that I half expected a Judy Blume book to come flying out of some one's mouth. Typical Len would have tied on the feed bag. While I did eat a little more some days, my worst day wasn't as bad as I normally ate before this project.
I finished the week (er started the week?) this morning with a walk. The musical choice was Digital Underground from 1989. It was tres fun and extremely old school. That was back when rap was about drugs and sex and king-sized egos. Not like today where rap is about...wait...drugs and sex and king-sized egos. I guess it hasn't changed that much. As my friend reminded me, Digital Underground did create the nonsense word Looptid. Top that Kanye West!
I know several of my friends have kicked off weight loss efforts over the last few weeks. I just want to say hang in there and stay strong. Also, be accountable to someone (or some people). It really helps!
Until next week, when that barrier known as 50 lbs lost goes down, I wish you all peace and humptiness forever.
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com
Weight Last Sunday: 278 lbs
Weight today: 275.5 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 2.5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 49 lbs
Weeks Completed: 15
Weeks to go: 37
One more pound and it would have been 50! As it is, I've lost one pound for each state in the union. That union would be the union before August 21, 1959 when there were only 49 states (sorry Hawaii).
I would like to say that there was an initial accounting error last week. I originally reported the total weight lost so far (last Sunday) as 47.5 lbs. That has since been corrected to 46.5 lbs. It seems we used the United States General Accounting Office to audit our math last week. We won't be doing that again.
I would also like to say that at my mom's 65th birthday party last night, I did not eat any of my wife's home made lasagna, none of that tasty salad with that one honey mustard dressing I like, none of that wonderful Italian bread that's crunchy on the outside but light and fluffy on the inside, and none of that kickin' birthday cake with all that butter cream icing deliciousness!!!!!!!!!!! I suppressed my inner gourmand so that I would end the week on a high note. I did it for you, my loyal following. I did it so you all could say, "Cool...he's still going in the right direction." Seriously, I abstained from the chow fest because I have given myself a lot of days off over the last two weeks. If I was smart, I wouldn't do that on a Tuesday work night and, instead, save up for a Saturday birthday party. No one ever accused me of being smart. Smart-a--ed maybe...
This was a really crazy week. Work was insane...for all the wrong reasons. There was a "Days of Our Lives" factor of about 10.5. It felt so school-like that I half expected a Judy Blume book to come flying out of some one's mouth. Typical Len would have tied on the feed bag. While I did eat a little more some days, my worst day wasn't as bad as I normally ate before this project.
I finished the week (er started the week?) this morning with a walk. The musical choice was Digital Underground from 1989. It was tres fun and extremely old school. That was back when rap was about drugs and sex and king-sized egos. Not like today where rap is about...wait...drugs and sex and king-sized egos. I guess it hasn't changed that much. As my friend reminded me, Digital Underground did create the nonsense word Looptid. Top that Kanye West!
I know several of my friends have kicked off weight loss efforts over the last few weeks. I just want to say hang in there and stay strong. Also, be accountable to someone (or some people). It really helps!
Until next week, when that barrier known as 50 lbs lost goes down, I wish you all peace and humptiness forever.
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Welcome to the 270s Mr. Smith...it's been awhile.
Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 281 lbs
Weight today: 278 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 46.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 14
Weeks to go: 38
It's an Easter miracle! After phoning in last week's performance, I made some progress this week. Considering I was off most of the week, that was no small feat. I said goodbye to the 280s (hopefully forever). Ah 280s, we barely knew ye!
I haven't been able to walk this week. Let me elaborate. I'm not paralyzed, I just didn't have time to walk the usual 2.5 miles per day that I normally do. I cut the grass once, but other than that it's been paint, paint, paint. We repainted our kitchen and painted all of our ugly oak cabinets, chair rails, and floor trim white. That kicked my butt. Sorry if you or someone you know is a fan of/made out of oak.
It's been a cool Easter morning. My son looked at his basket full of candy and new soccer ball and said, "I was kind of hoping for some slime." Evidently, slime is something you can buy in a can. We will be performing an exorcism on my little heathen son later.
I usually spend the end of my blog poking good natured fun at the pitfalls of being heavy. I'm finding less and less that I can write about that's not of a personal nature. Maybe I'll create a sister blog to this one called Diary of A Mad Fat Man - Adult Swim. That one could contain material of a more blue nature. Let's just say being really overweight is a self-induced handicap. The more weight I lose, the more I realize just how much mobility I had lost. Getting up off the floor, getting out of a chair, walking up to a buffet...all were major tasks.
Well, I have two more milestones approaching. 274.5 will be the 50 lbs mark and 266 is the lightest I've been in the last five years. Both will be good to hit.
Thanks to all of you who tune in week after week. I really believe this blog has made the difference for me in this diet. I love hearing from you all.
May the sweet winds of spring not blow too much of that fresh mulch smell upon you!
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/
Weight Last Sunday: 281 lbs
Weight today: 278 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: 3 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 46.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 14
Weeks to go: 38
It's an Easter miracle! After phoning in last week's performance, I made some progress this week. Considering I was off most of the week, that was no small feat. I said goodbye to the 280s (hopefully forever). Ah 280s, we barely knew ye!
I haven't been able to walk this week. Let me elaborate. I'm not paralyzed, I just didn't have time to walk the usual 2.5 miles per day that I normally do. I cut the grass once, but other than that it's been paint, paint, paint. We repainted our kitchen and painted all of our ugly oak cabinets, chair rails, and floor trim white. That kicked my butt. Sorry if you or someone you know is a fan of/made out of oak.
It's been a cool Easter morning. My son looked at his basket full of candy and new soccer ball and said, "I was kind of hoping for some slime." Evidently, slime is something you can buy in a can. We will be performing an exorcism on my little heathen son later.
I usually spend the end of my blog poking good natured fun at the pitfalls of being heavy. I'm finding less and less that I can write about that's not of a personal nature. Maybe I'll create a sister blog to this one called Diary of A Mad Fat Man - Adult Swim. That one could contain material of a more blue nature. Let's just say being really overweight is a self-induced handicap. The more weight I lose, the more I realize just how much mobility I had lost. Getting up off the floor, getting out of a chair, walking up to a buffet...all were major tasks.
Well, I have two more milestones approaching. 274.5 will be the 50 lbs mark and 266 is the lightest I've been in the last five years. Both will be good to hit.
Thanks to all of you who tune in week after week. I really believe this blog has made the difference for me in this diet. I love hearing from you all.
May the sweet winds of spring not blow too much of that fresh mulch smell upon you!
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com/
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Well dude, what did you expect?!
Starting Weight: 324.5 lbs
Weight Last Sunday: 281.5 lbs
Weight today: 281 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: .5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 43.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 13
Weeks to go: 39
OK so on Thursday of this week I was down to 279.5. A pretty cool milestone. Then I decided to have a little Fun friday night. That fun resulted in three slices of pizza and a little too much Grey Goose. So instead of reporting 2-3 lbs lost this week, I get to say "hooray for .5 lbs".
My wife summed it up nicely this morning. She reminded me that when I choose to jump off the wagon a bit I can't then turn around and beat myself up about it. I'm really not that broken up, I'm sure this week will be good.
I'm not going to joke about fatness and side effects this week. That's easy to do when I've lost a respectable amount of weight. Instead, I'll regroup and hit it harder this week.
Sorry for the lameness of the post.
Peace and love to all.
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com
Weight Last Sunday: 281.5 lbs
Weight today: 281 lbs
Weight Lost This Week: .5 lbs
Weight Lost to Date: 43.5 lbs
Weeks Completed: 13
Weeks to go: 39
OK so on Thursday of this week I was down to 279.5. A pretty cool milestone. Then I decided to have a little Fun friday night. That fun resulted in three slices of pizza and a little too much Grey Goose. So instead of reporting 2-3 lbs lost this week, I get to say "hooray for .5 lbs".
My wife summed it up nicely this morning. She reminded me that when I choose to jump off the wagon a bit I can't then turn around and beat myself up about it. I'm really not that broken up, I'm sure this week will be good.
I'm not going to joke about fatness and side effects this week. That's easy to do when I've lost a respectable amount of weight. Instead, I'll regroup and hit it harder this week.
Sorry for the lameness of the post.
Peace and love to all.
Len
http://trappedinafatman.blogspot.com
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